You just loved me so perfectly, I thought I was living in a dream. So, since I have nothing to lose at this point, I'll just be honest. And while I know you need to go get some things handled right now, it doesn't make me any less sad about it. I know my past experiences kept me from processing what you were trying to tell me and I thank you for being patient and persistent. I am a woman that men don't stay with, don't keep because I am moody and difficult and demanding. I know you said those words, but I didn't believe it. I thought this breakup was about us for a while. Cooking dinner while you told me about your day and kept my wine glass filled snuggling up on the couch watching very bad television loving the way you played with the dog even when you didn't want to watching you put your pajamas on lying in bed the way you kissed me when you made love to me - like I was everything to you. The hardest part is all the memories, the glimpses into an everyday life that I wanted with you. But I know one day that will stop too, almost involuntarily, like how I stopped counting your days on and off work. Every night before I close my eyes, I whisper, "I love you, handsome. That day will be like losing you all over again. They still smell like you and I know one day they won't. Other times, I pull your pajamas out of your drawer and put them next to my pillow. More than I have ever missed anyone before. I get up every morning and go be the badass chick that you fell for because I need to be, but when I lay my head down at night and think that I will never feel your arms pulling me close to you again, I am filled with sadness. I'm not sure what to say except that I'm wrecked inside. The man who made me a better person the man I wanted to start a life with the man who made me believe in love again and that I was worthy of it.īut instead, here I am, writing the breakup letter I never wanted to write. I thought the next heartfelt thing I would be writing was a Christmas card to the most wonderful man in the world. Until he said "love ya" as he dropped me off at my car that same night. Until he walked into a bar for an after-work happy hour and I realized I loved him. We met on the most beautiful Summer night on record, I think, and started seeing each other shortly after.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |